O.K. I get out of the shower. It’s January 1st, 2011. Look in the mirror and say out loud , “That ain’t right!”. Where did this whole soft, middle aged beer gut guy come from that’s standing in my bathroom? Who switched all my 30″ waist jeans to 34’s? Where are my medium T-shirts? When did I forget how to tuck in a shirt? What the hell is going on around here?Somethings gota give.Nothing to do with any new years resolutions or challenge diets, I’ve got to get in shape.I’m 49 years old, 5’9″, 186lbs and get winded carrying the groceries up the stairs.
When I get to work and go through my e-mails I see a Living Social offer for a months membership to CrossFit iQ for peanuts. I didn’t have a clue what CrossFit was but what the hell, if I go three times and hate it I still got my moneys’ worth. Sign me up.
January 3rd and I show up at the “gym” ready to go. After a brief interview to determine my state of athletic prowess (like they can’t tell by looking at the soft white underbelly) away we go for my 1st (modified) “workout”. F—stockings!! This s–t ain’t right!! Not only do I have to pull off the turnpike half way home cause I can’t drive safely, but I go home and fall asleep on the couch. 1st time I’ve taken a nap since kindergarten! My wife wants to give me NyQuil because she’s convinced I’m sick and I take it cause I could really use the drink. After a brief conversation with Nichole it is decided that I should jump back on the bull and take another ass whopin’.
By week two I’m carrying the groceries up the stairs while holding a normal conversation. Not toting a keg of Budweiser, yet.
By month three, I feel like a different guy. Ten pounds gone in 12 weeks. Tightening my belt and tucking in my shirts. I can’t wait for 5:00 so I can work out. Not really missing pasta as bad as I thought I would.either.
By month five I’m down 20 pounds and three pant sizes. Time to go cloths shopping. And the arm fairy visited in the middle of the night, cause whats hanging off my shoulders isn’t anything I’ve ever owned before.
It’s now month nine and another pant size down. I went to the cardiologist and was informed that I no longer needed Benicar (blood pressure med.), Triplex (triglisiride med) or Crestor (cholesterol med)! I still need the Wellbutrin, cause you can’t fix crazy! That’s $100.00 worth of co-pay gone every month. 26 pounds of fat that I don’t have to circulate my blood through is gone and never coming back.
CrossFit WORKS, period!